Background

So about seven or eight weeks ago Robb injured his back. This has happened before, and usually within a week or two he's good to go. This time, not so much. After about a month of seeing the chiropractor three times a week the good doctor (he really IS pretty awesome) suggested to Robb that he felt there was a high probability of disk trouble and that Robb should see his regular doctor and request some images of his spine.

One MRI later (about four weeks ago) we found out that Robb has some serious stuff going on in his lower back. (It's likely the original injury happened about ten years ago in a major mountain biking accident and that Robb has simply aggravated it and re-aggravated it to reach his current state.) Turns out Robb has three bulging disks, central canal stenosis (compression on his spinal cord), another problem with a nerve root, arthritis, and general degenerative disk problems. In his doctor's words "This is life changing. There are things you should never do again. (i.e. Run.) You will need to take care of yourself very carefully for the rest of your life if you want to enjoy a 'normal' quality of life." The spinal specialist told Robb to cancel his artist in residency trip to Craters of the Moon and instructed him not to do anything - other than his PT exercises and walking - for at least one month. Needless to say, Robb was rather depressed for a few days right after his diagnosis.

What this has meant for me is that Robb cannot (or at least should not) do anything that requires bending. This includes:

• picking up Ren
• dressing Ren
• changing diapers
• cooking
• cleaning
• getting Ren into or out of the car
• driving 

Basically I became a single parent with two kids (although Robb did - and does - his best to help out however he can), all while working full time and dealing with being exhausted and nauseated 24/7 due to pregnancy. (I found out I was pregnant right around the time Robb got his MRI. Fun!)

I've been struggling along, trying to keep things together and, to be honest, not doing the most fabulous job. While talking with my therapist a few days ago she asked if I have anyone local to lean on for help. I told her that a few people at church had offered to help but that I have a really hard time actually letting others do these basic things (cleaning, laundry, child care) for me. Her response: "Ask for help!" So...on Sunday I sat down and wrote out a list of things people could do that would be helpful (drop off or pick up Ren from the babysitter's, watch him in the evening so I can clean, help clean and/or help with laundry.) Today I had several lovely offers: drop off and pick up, watch Ren in the afternoon, and even an offer to do a couple loads of laundry.

Now, I didn't actually take up any of these people on their offers of help - mostly because I spent the first half of the day being violently ill and the second half of the day in the doctor's office - however, it was really awesome to be offered so much assistance. Our amazing babysitter ended up keeping Ren until 6:30 (we usually pick him up at 2:00; we were at the doctor's for a looong time), and then Ren's former nanny called to let us know she was in town and wanted to take Ren for a play date. She and her husband kept him until 9:00, so I was able to just rest in bed.

All in all, people have been pretty extraordinary. Hopefully I can actually take them up on their various offers of service in the next few days and I'll have even more awesome experiences to share. We shall certainly see!