Noodles and Soda and Movies

Last night Robb helped out by putting Ren to bed. Well, at least trying to put Ren to bed. In the process Robb threw out his back (not as severe as last time, but still, not good) and was down and out for the count. He was up most of the night with massive pain and finally took a mega dose of pain medication around 4 o'clock in the morning.

No fun, but not too bad, right? Fast forward to this morning...

Robb is basically incoherent on the couch (no sleep, muscle relaxants, and Percoset will do that to you), I'm getting breakfast for Ren and suddenly - I start throwing up. Ah, the joys of pregnancy!

I'm sure this doesn't sound fun (it hasn't been), but here's what I'm grateful for today:
- friends who tried to find ways to help/watch Ren for me (it didn't work out, but at least they tried)
- Netflix, which kept Ren quietly occupied for several hours while I concentrated on not throwing up (and no, I don't generally advocate hours of TV watching, especially because Ren gets really cranky when I eventually turn it off, but I am SERIOUSLY grateful for Netflix any time both Robb and I are sick)
- soda, which helps my stomach calm down, and
- soba noodles, which are yummy and stayed down (hooray!)

If I can find something good on a day like today, so can you - so what's your good thing today?

Coincidence? I Think Not.

I went on Facebook and as it was loading I saw a status post that intrigued me, but as the page fully loaded it disappeared. I looked for it in my newsfeed, didn't find it, so searched out that individual's page to locate the post. Their status/quote led me to a very good article, and within the article there was another quote that really struck me. I followed the footnote to find the second article, and it was exactly what I needed to read.

Sometimes the Lord is so obviously involved in my life that even I can't fail to miss it. (And I'm very grateful!)

Silver Lining

So about three weeks ago I cut off all my hair, and two weeks later it was driving me nuts (still too long), so I went and got it cut again. Well...it's now a little shorter than I really wanted (I look a LOT more like my younger brother than I ever realized!), but here's one bit of silver lining: my default bed head is now a mohawk! It makes me laugh every morning. :-)

Background

So about seven or eight weeks ago Robb injured his back. This has happened before, and usually within a week or two he's good to go. This time, not so much. After about a month of seeing the chiropractor three times a week the good doctor (he really IS pretty awesome) suggested to Robb that he felt there was a high probability of disk trouble and that Robb should see his regular doctor and request some images of his spine.

One MRI later (about four weeks ago) we found out that Robb has some serious stuff going on in his lower back. (It's likely the original injury happened about ten years ago in a major mountain biking accident and that Robb has simply aggravated it and re-aggravated it to reach his current state.) Turns out Robb has three bulging disks, central canal stenosis (compression on his spinal cord), another problem with a nerve root, arthritis, and general degenerative disk problems. In his doctor's words "This is life changing. There are things you should never do again. (i.e. Run.) You will need to take care of yourself very carefully for the rest of your life if you want to enjoy a 'normal' quality of life." The spinal specialist told Robb to cancel his artist in residency trip to Craters of the Moon and instructed him not to do anything - other than his PT exercises and walking - for at least one month. Needless to say, Robb was rather depressed for a few days right after his diagnosis.

What this has meant for me is that Robb cannot (or at least should not) do anything that requires bending. This includes:

• picking up Ren
• dressing Ren
• changing diapers
• cooking
• cleaning
• getting Ren into or out of the car
• driving 

Basically I became a single parent with two kids (although Robb did - and does - his best to help out however he can), all while working full time and dealing with being exhausted and nauseated 24/7 due to pregnancy. (I found out I was pregnant right around the time Robb got his MRI. Fun!)

I've been struggling along, trying to keep things together and, to be honest, not doing the most fabulous job. While talking with my therapist a few days ago she asked if I have anyone local to lean on for help. I told her that a few people at church had offered to help but that I have a really hard time actually letting others do these basic things (cleaning, laundry, child care) for me. Her response: "Ask for help!" So...on Sunday I sat down and wrote out a list of things people could do that would be helpful (drop off or pick up Ren from the babysitter's, watch him in the evening so I can clean, help clean and/or help with laundry.) Today I had several lovely offers: drop off and pick up, watch Ren in the afternoon, and even an offer to do a couple loads of laundry.

Now, I didn't actually take up any of these people on their offers of help - mostly because I spent the first half of the day being violently ill and the second half of the day in the doctor's office - however, it was really awesome to be offered so much assistance. Our amazing babysitter ended up keeping Ren until 6:30 (we usually pick him up at 2:00; we were at the doctor's for a looong time), and then Ren's former nanny called to let us know she was in town and wanted to take Ren for a play date. She and her husband kept him until 9:00, so I was able to just rest in bed.

All in all, people have been pretty extraordinary. Hopefully I can actually take them up on their various offers of service in the next few days and I'll have even more awesome experiences to share. We shall certainly see!

A Big Little Thing

April was a hard month - can you tell? Actually, the last 6+ weeks have been pretty killer: crazy stress at work up until April 1, Robb massively injured his back and still has limited mobility (he can now walk and drive but still can't pick up Ren, bend over to change diapers or clothes, etc.), legal stress, illness in the family, etc.

Things have been okay for a little while now but I got out of the habit of posting, so here's my rededication post of an extraordinary event from today: Today I got to see my baby's heart beating in an ultrasound. Life is absolutely extraordinary in every way.

Treats

Three words: Lee's Avocado Smoothie.  Oh yeeeeeaaah.

Lots of stress the last two days as I prepared for a potentially VERY difficult meeting today. I put at least five hours into a report (typically they take one hour each), and analyzed that thing to death. I decided my post-meeting reward would be one of my favorite treats: an avocado smoothie (though I did get mine sans boba today). I get these maybe twice a year, and they are SO good. Most definitely an extraordinary part of my day. :-D

Feedback

Today there were a few extraordinary moments.

1. Colored paper in the copier made for a bright surprise.  It was even yellow - how's that for cheery?

2. Unexpected conversation with the always-lovely Shawn Kirchner. It's impossible to talk with him and not feel better. He was even struggling through a composing challenge and was STILL upbeat and positive. I need to take some lessons.

(Speaking of Shawn, in case you didn't know, he's an über talented choral composer and is currently the composer in residence for the Los Angeles Master Chorale. Go here and listen to the preview for track 15. Better yet, buy it at iTunes!) :-)

3.  Feedback from my husband on some work-related stuff. I needed someone to be a thought partner and he did a stellar job.

It's late, and I'm tired and sick and ready for bed - but it's been a good day.  I hope your day had some extraordinary moments and if you didn't catch any today, I hope you do so tomorrow!

A Good Day

Today was good: work is going well, I'm on top of things (amazing!), I got to hang out with friends at needlecraft group...all in all, a sweet deal.

Quote of the day (from this tearjerker of a video):

"I was just grateful I could be an instrument in her orchestra."

Isn't that beautiful? I want to be an instrument in others' orchestras! I'm grateful for this woman's eloquence because it made me think differently of the many ways we can influence other people. Sometimes it's big, sometimes it's small, sometimes we are just a part of a harmonious, multi-person work of art.

It's Not Easy Being Green

But a ton of people are giving it their best shot today! ;-)

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone. I hope you all had a great day.  Some highlights from my day:

- a fourth grade student in an intervention class (typically for students who are two to three years behind grade level in reading and writing) knowing and being able to correctly use the word "smelting" even when his teacher didn't know the word. Way to go, dude!

- having cough drops to share with another sick teacher. Anything I can do to ease the load, you can count on me.

- naps! Because (in case it wasn't clear above), I'm sick, so sleeping is GREAT.

And now I'm off to bed, for more sleep!

Crazy Times!

Okay, a whole week with no posting is just sad, I know - but work has been INSANE. I'm talking up- until-at-least-midnight-every-night insane. Throw in at least an e-mail a day about the lawsuit, a toddler with pink eye, and a husband who hasn't been able to sleep and things get a little...intense.

HOWEVER, I have been taking note of the marvelous things that happen each day, so here we go:

Right Now: listening to this. It's my theme song this year, and gets me going every time.

Today: I finished my work by 9:40 pm and am totally caught up! This is amazing - I can't even tell you how excited I am and how GREAT I feel. It's definitely motivation to keep up the fabulous work, that's for sure.

Wednesday: I observed a teacher at my old school and some of my former students are in her class. First, she's amazing, and it's always a pleasure to watch a master at work. Second, those kids have made SO much progress! It makes my heart happy to see them succeed.

Tuesday: Met with the Director of HR for the district and received repeated reassurance about the whole lawsuit issue. What an immeasurably HUGE weight off my shoulders.

Monday: Observed one of my favorite teachers. I love visiting her class; the energy is so great and, to be honest, there's always something smile-inducing in a kinder classroom!

Sunday: Sweet two year old Claire in my nursery class at church. She doesn't talk much but she certainly loves to sing. We had fun, even if the other two munchkins preferred running around to music time!

Also, Spring!

I was walking around outside of church, talking to the advice nurse about Farren's eye situation, and it was such a beautiful, peaceful afternoon. Shining sun, cool and gentle breeze, softly drifting blossoms and all. Definitely a balm to my soul. (Happy sigh...)

So there you have it folks, although I haven't written every day, I'm at least making the mental effort, and that counts for something, right?

How about you? Has spring started to show its face? Are you feeling well? I hope so!

Silver Lining

I got a phone call from my union president this evening, informing me that one of my participating teachers had just filed a lawsuit against the district, the union, and myself and that I will be served with papers sometime in the very near future.

The silver lining?

My union supports me.

My supervisors support me.

The district leadership supports me.

My union president is awesome enough to call and give me a heads up so I won't be blindsided. 

The joys of being a professional performance evaluator!

Rico, Suave

I had a rough day today and pretty much felt like crying at least half the time. This is why I decided to visit the classroom of one of my favorite teachers (and favorite people): because spending time around her is always uplifting. 

Off I went, to the haven of happiness that is her kindergarden classroom - and it didn't disappoint! She gave me a hug, a couple of her students read to me (which is a big accomplishment on their part), and then I got to join them on the carpet for a review of their journal entries. 

One little girl wrote about her day and included a mention of going to Zumba class with her mom. This, of course, led to other students sharing their Zumba experiences, which led to a few children dancing while seated. When the teacher commented that they were showing some nice Zumba moves one little boy said "No way. It's like this." and he then proceeded to stand up and give a 15 second demonstration of his Zumba skills.

I was laughing so hard (and trying so hard to keep it contained), that I hid my head, because I knew I was bright red and crying a little bit, too. Ain't no party like a Kinder dance party!

Tuesday

It's been a really difficult week and an exceptionally trying day, so I'm going to post several of the things I meant to post earlier this week but didn't. I really need to focus on positive thoughts right now.

Tuesday afternoon I was looking for help with writing a difficult evaluation. I sent a message to my two colleagues and two supervisors who work out of the district office to see if any of them had time to be a thought partner. All four of them were running around like crazy, but one of my colleagues finally stopped by to help me out.

As we were discussing my concerns my very eloquent and thoughtful coworker gave me one of the kindest (and most unexpected) compliments I've ever received. He shared that, in his opinion, making sure others feel my appreciation for them is something that is of major importance to me. He went so far as to say that my actions and words have inspired him to try and show appreciation for others more regularly.

I was taken by surprise by our conversation, and I have to say that while I was flattered I didn't necessarily agree with his praise...until a few hours later when I was running an errand and reminded myself that I want to buy flowers for someone in the district office to tell her thank you. That was when I remembered my colleague's compliment from earlier and I had to smile to myself - at least a little.

It was a nice feeling.

Moms are Awesome

I saw this today and it's too good not to share.  Hope you enjoy it!

Beautiful Things

It is rainy (yea!) and cold here in the Bay Area, so I had the chance to wear a beautiful scarf my mother-in-law knit and gave me for Valentine's. (I saw her working on it while we were visiting at Christmas and told her how beautiful it was and she said I could have it. Sweet!) It's made of these beautiful, warm, autumnal colors and is done with an entrelac technique and it's absolutely gorgeous. I received more than one compliment on the scarf today and was grateful for the warmth (both literal and figurative) it provided.

Amazing People

Rough week, as you can probably tell. Good things have been happening, I just haven't taken the time to sit and reflect on them. Maybe if I had the week wouldn't have seemed so difficult. Hmm.....

I know I've written previously about how much I love my job, but let me just say again: it is such a privilege and honor to observe different teachers every day. Teachers are truly amazing people.

Case in point: I observed a second year teacher early this week. The lesson was good but I had some concerns about equity of consequences (behavior management). I met with her the next day and we talked about it - and BOY, am I glad we had that conversation. Turns out she is very much aware of each of her students' needs and situations, and the different reactions and consequences were based on that knowledge. That conversation reminded me of Rita Pierson's TED talk. I hope that during my time in the classroom I had that sort of positive impact on my students.

Robb and Ren and Really Yummy Popcorn

Today was crazy. I'm behind at work and, in an effort to dig myself out of the pit, told Robb I wouldn't come home until I was caught up. Well, 11 hours later I gave up and went home. (I did get really close to being totally caught up. Maybe it will happen tomorrow. Ha!) So today I am grateful for

1. Robb, for holding down the fort at home and letting me focus on my catching up,
2. Ren, for giving me good hugs and making me laugh, especially when we made
3. Really Yummy Popcorn. Making popcorn (in a glass-topped pot on the stove, with a two year old) is awesome. Particularly when you get hugs while you wait for the oil to get hot enough.

So grateful for my guys today. They make life wonderful.

Food

Today my standout moments and realizations all centered around dinner. I love to cook and bake (which is a good thing, since I have to do it often), and tonight I got to be a little creative. I'm grateful for delicious produce from our CSA, I'm grateful for the things I've learned about flavor combinations and cooking since I met Robb (he eats a much broader variety of foods than I used to), and I'm grateful for our little herb garden. Oh - and lest I forget - I'm grateful dinner turned out to be delicious!

(And in case anyone wonders, it wasn't too off the wall, just butternut squash stuffed with white and wild rice, onion, garlic, parsnips, broccoli, celery, crimini mushrooms, slivered almonds, parsley, sage, and rosemary. No thyme.) :-)

The Sound of Silence

Today I am grateful for the sound of silence.  More specifically, I am grateful for the sound of the power drill turning off and not turning on again!  Robb has been sanding his giant steelcase flat file for three days (!!!) and we are all VERY grateful the job is finally finished.

Silence is definitely golden.

Laughter

Today was the first day of my week-long winter vacation, and it was rough, emotionally. I just finished putting Ren to bed and was feeling very negative, when Robb told me he'd sent me a link to a funny video. It was a clip of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", featuring Richard Simmons, and it made me laugh so hard I cried. I definitely feel better, so today I'm grateful for laughter-inducing videos and also for Robb, for sharing this one with me.

Triggers

My work sent me to a conference on New Teacher Induction this past week, and while most of the sessions I attended were based on quality mentoring, I did go to one about social and emotional wellness. (And I was happy to note a multitude of sessions addressing this topic. Teaching can be incredibly draining, so it was good to see the shift in awareness.) During my session the presenters mentioned emotional triggers, and how we typically think only of triggers for negative emotions (i.e. things that make you feel depressed, angry, etc.) It is incredibly important, not to mention helpful, to know what triggers negative thoughts and emotions, but what I appreciated was the presenter's mention of triggers for positive emotions.

I hadn't really thought about it, but I realized I definitely should. Here are my triggers for joy:

• riding my bike (something about the exercise plus being outside really makes me feel GREAT.)
• creating music (singing or playing, either way it lifts me up.)
• cooking/baking for people
• quality time with Ren (reading to him, playing with him, even watching YouTube videos of whatever currently grabs his attention, but most especially doing whatever makes him laugh!)
• hugs from Robb
• spending time with friends

As I said before, in an effort to be mindful I've given thought to what triggers me to start the downward mental/emotional spiral, but I hadn't really thought about what triggers me to feel joy. It's an exercise I recommend for everyone, so here's my question for you: what causes you to feel joy and how can you make it happen more often in your life?

EDIT: I was reminded that the following should be on my list.

• Ryan
• :-)

Gonna be a Repeat

This little man is often the most extraordinary part of my day.  Today I just happened to get a good picture of him, so I'm making the most of it!

I've heard the cliched phrase along the lines of "For you, I'll get the sun, the moon, and the stars." Well, today he was playing with Daddy's vintage spaceships and said "Mommy, can you get me the moon?" I was humbled to think he would view that as within my power. Even though he was happy with an imaginary moon (which the yellow spaceship then ate), I get it. Yes, sweetheart, I will get you the moon - or at least give it my best effort.

Work

Having a job (that I love), being able to work, being able to help other people...all these things create a sense of purpose and a sense of accomplishment, and that is extraordinary!

Friends

Today I had the chance to visit with a friend whom I haven't seen for at least three months. She's the kind of person with whom I can be completely comfortable, and that is such a huge blessing! She's a great listener, is continually supportive, and gave me several amazing compliments over the course of our visit. I am so grateful to have her for my friend!

Music (I think this will be a recurring theme...)

Today (Sunday) it was music again. The choir I conduct is rehearsing "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need". The song has been close to my heart since I first heard it on a Mormon Tabernacle Choir album about five years ago. I love choir rehearsal anyway, but lately they've been even more uplifting.

I also sang a solo in church today ("Consider the Lilies"). As is typically the case, I was almost completely unemotional as I sang, focusing on a technical analysis of my performance rather than the feeling. Don't get me wrong, it's always my prayer that whatever musical offerings I share add to the spirit of the meeting, but I rarely (if ever) feel it myself. So I was grateful when a few people thanked me afterwards and told me the song really helped them feel closer to the Lord. As the topic of the meeting was "Increasing Faith", I'm glad to have added to their experience!

Music to my Ears

I sang at a funeral today. I sang "The Lord is My Shepherd" with two other women. I didn't know the woman who had passed away, but I'm grateful to have been asked to add to her service. I'm also grateful for the incredible power of music - to uplift, inspire, soothe, heal, and give hope. I know I felt some of those things as we sang, and I hope the family did, as well.

Sigh...

I'm grateful for all the times I've dyed my hair and had it turn out right.

Needlecrafting

A few months ago a district-wide e-mail went out that one of the middle schools was doing a scarf drive for a local charity. I decided a scarf was a good first crochet or knit project, sent out an e-mail to all the ladies at my church, and had at least nine people respond. A needlecraft group was born!

There are two things I love about this group. First, I love the chance to get to know other people. Every two weeks when we meet at least one person is someone I don't know very well. I'm not super social, so I enjoy the opportunity to sit, relax, and just chat with other women. It's also wonderful to just be myself. I don't have to be mom-me or wife-me or teacher-me, I just get to be me!

The second thing I love about this group is the opportunity to learn and create something. (And maybe even teach someone else.) Since October I have:
- learned to crochet (single, double, half double, extended single, foundation double, front post and back post stitches)
- made 3/4 of a scarf (I got bored!)
- made a toddler sweater (my attempt to not be bored)
- started a beanie
- started some toddler leg warmers

Creating something always brings a feeling of accomplishment. In fact, it reminds me of a talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf in 2008. The talk is called "Happiness, Your Heritage" and is specifically addressed to women and how we can increase our happiness. One of the things President Uchtdorf talks about is the act of creation. He said:

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children. 

You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.” 

If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination. 

But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. ⁴ Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things....
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. ⁵ The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter. 

What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside. 

If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it. 

^... 

The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.

Today I'm grateful for our little group, for the opportunity to create something, and for the reminder of this awesome message from Pres. Uchtdorf. I'm going to try to remember to exercise my creative capacity each day, and I hope you will, too.

The Doldrums

From Google:

dol·drums

ˈdōldrəmz,ˈdäl-,ˈdôl-/

noun

1. 1.

   a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or depression

What a rough couple of days! I'm hoping it was hormonal, because I don't want to experience the doldrums again any time soon. (Super insecure, super depressed, super negative, at least one crying breakdown, etc.)

<Shaking it off.>

So. Today was better. Could be because I started off the day biking to an appointment at a nearby school and it was a beautiful, clear, cool, winter day. Could be because I love my job. Could be because I found a fun recipe and made a delicious dinner. Or maybe it was (finally) being quick enough to grab Ren and save him from a tumble off the dinner table bench. (The bench people, not the floor. We're talking maybe 18 inches?) Yup, Super Mom right here. (For the catching part.) :-)

I don't care about the reason, I'm just SUPER grateful for a better day.  Hooray!!!

I hope your weekend was better than mine, and that your week started off well, too.

Just One of Those Days

Right now I am grateful I feel better than I did most of the day. This was a rough day emotionally. Not for any specific reason (I blame hormonal fluctuation), but definitely not pleasant. I rode my bike for a little while this afternoon and I think that helped me start to feel better, so I'm also grateful I have a bike. Feeling so poorly about myself is no fun - especially when I KNOW (and repeat to myself often) that I am doing all kinds of things to improve, but my stinkin' emotions won't match up with my brain. So yes, grateful for that bike ride and grateful I feel better.  Phew!

When you have a super negative day how do you break out of it?

Hooray!

It finally rained! We need rain so badly here in California, so it was such a blessing to watch it come down. I also realized once again how much I love my new job (and I hadn't noticed this before due to the lack of rain), but I no longer have to deal with indoor recess and indoor lunch. Hooray! (And a huge virtual hug to all the elementary teachers out there who did have to deal with that today.) :-)

Strengths Search

My sister posted a link to an article about rediscovering your strengths and talents, so I had to check it out.  It's talks about Tom Rath's book, StrengthsFinder 2.0. He discusses identifying your talents or gifts and how you can work to turn those into strengths. To get started, the author of the article offers 12 fill-in-the-blank questions to ask yourself and help you understand your strengths. I figure this will help me better appreciate myself, so here I go:

1. Someday I really want to: write a book, fly (hang glide or paraglide), learn how to swim for real (I can swim, but I'm totally self-taught), be a master gardener.

2. When I was a kid I dreamed I would: be just like my sister (because she was, and still is, freaking amazing!) I may also have dreamed about being a chef, but "cooking" may have just been my favorite game.

3. I’ve only tried it a few times but I really like: sewing, dancing.

4. My friends call me when they need help with: childcare, food/baking, emotional support.

5. I could teach a how-to class about: teaching, crocheting a scarf, sewing a Mario hat, cooking/baking, strategies for combating depression, practicing mindfulness through blogging. :-)

6. Something someone else has done that I just know I could do too is: write a book.

7. A homemade gift I would make would include: food, either baked or canned, something crocheted, something sewn.

8. If I skipped out on work for a day, I would: sleep in, go to the beach, read, bake or cook.

9. I could help others by: serving them, especially by being physically and mentally present.

10. I am fulfilled when: I read to my son, my choir sings a beautiful song, a lesson I teach touches people, I help another improve or grow, I make food for people.

11. I really enjoy: music, sewing, reading, talking/being with family or friends, cooking/baking for people.

12. The things I do that really excite me are: helping other teachers reflect on their practice, figure out areas for growth, and provide resources and feedback to facilitate their growth, travel.

Hmm...well, I've either got very narrow interests or I've figured out where my talents lie. What about you? What are your talents, gifts, and strengths? I hope you can identify at least a few and that you can focus on them rather than your perceived flaws.  

I'm Tired!

Did you know that taking a cake decorating class is actually a lot of work? Shaine had the (good) idea to take a class together at a Michael's or Joann's somewhere in between our respective homes, so for the last 4 weeks we've been meeting up in Milpitas every Tuesday from 5:30 - 8:00 pm.  Today I worked until 2:30, made frosting and prepped my final cake until 5:00, drove to Milpitas for class (and making those stinking roses works your forearms, let me tell you), and made it home around 8:30. I scarfed some dinner (thank you, wonderful husband!) and settled in to finish my homework for a training I'm taking. (I swear I would have done it over Christmas break if only we hadn't all gotten sick!)  ;-)

Anyway, it's been three hours, my homework is not yet complete (though I'm close), and
I
am
tired!

So here's my extraordinary moment:  I made this.  Hooray!

PS: I do not actually know if it's the 100th day of school, but I do know it's close. I just needed something to put on my cake! :-)

A Porcupine Kind of Day

Today was rough. From the moment I woke up - make that from the moment Little Man woke me up, I was very short tempered. I was on my own with him for a few hours this morning, and trying to work with a Mommy-obsessed two year old is difficult.  (While it's cute when he says "I check e-mail. I send message." it gets old when he tries to do it as I'm trying to actually work.)

This evening I was on my own with him for another few hours. I tried setting him up with Daniel Tiger while I sat next to him and did more work, then switched to Pandora toddler radio (which he liked, but he kept asking to "watch this one!" I'm guessing CD cover art and DVD cover art are indistinguishable at his age.) After a while of listening to the radio and my increasing sense of guilt over focusing on my work rather than on him, I found a toddler dance video and tried to do that together, and he got MAD. This was right around the three hour mark and I was done. I shut down the laptop and curled up on the couch with my 45 pages of graduate level reading.

My fabulous husband put dinner on the table shortly thereafter, and I went to the table in a less-than-happy mood. (I usually sit next to Little Man and Dad sits on the other side of the table. I snagged the solo seat right off the bat. Full porcupine mode, for sure.)

So...my moment? Well, on Monday nights we have dedicated family time. We sing a song, say a prayer, share a "lesson" (usually more of a thought), play a little, and wrap things up with another prayer. Dad ran the meeting because I was still in porcupine mode, and he pulled up a video from www.biblevideos.org. We watched the parable of the talents and another about "ye have done it unto me", both from Matthew 25.

I was struck by the thought of the servant who received one talent and buried it in the earth because he was afraid. However, to be perfectly honest, the best part about the videos was simply the feeling of peace that came from listening to the Savior's words. It was probably the most peaceful I felt all day, and I'm grateful for that.

The crazy added bonus of my day comes from writing this blog. As I've been writing I've realized my short temperedness (?) is probably due to my internalizing stress about meeting all my deadlines this week. I don't think I would have realized this if I hadn't taken the time to reflect on my day, so...thank you, blog.

I hope if you have a porcupine sort of day you will be able to find some peace and put down those quills for a while.

Sharing Experiences (and lots of links)

Today I taught a lesson for Relief Society (the women's group at my church). I was asked to base my lesson on the talk "Come, Join With Us" given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf in October of 2013. I love to teach (which is good, since that's my full time gig), and I particularly love teaching at church. We have the best discussions, and I had more than one extraordinary moment while teaching today.

A couple highlights:

First, President Uchtdorf's talk starts out describing some of the many services members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints provide. The question is raised: "Why would anyone want to join such a church?" One of the reasons people might choose to be part of our church is because of the many opportunities to put your faith into practice.  We discussed this as a class, both how it feels to come into a church that's so volunteer-service oriented and how that service affects us.

What's interesting to me is that, as we talked about service we render, the sisters pointed out how we are enriched, enlightened, uplifted and refined as serve. As I was listening to their comments I remembered something I had read about depression: volunteering combats depression. Think about it - you're giving of yourself to others. Just as accomplishing any goal can give you an increased sense of self-worth, by providing service to others we are blessed ourselves. (Mosiah 2:24 comes to mind: ...he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you...)

If you're not convinced, how about some expert explanation? 

Helping others kindles happiness, as many studies have demonstrated. When researchers at the London School of Economics examined the relationship between volunteering and measures of happiness in a large group of American adults, they found the more people volunteered, the happier they were, according to a study in Social Science and Medicine. Compared with people who never volunteered, the odds of being “very happy” rose 7% among those who volunteer monthly and 12% for people who volunteer every two to four weeks. Among weekly volunteers, 16% felt very happy—a hike in happiness comparable to having an income of $75,000–$100,000 versus $20,000, say the researchers. Giving time to religious organizations had the greatest impact.
(Adapted with permission from Simple Changes, Big Rewards: A Practical, Easy Guide for Healthy, Happy Living, a special health report published by Harvard Health Publications.)

So, the take away here is:
a) If you're depressed, find a way to volunteer!
b) If you don't know where/how to start volunteering, try www.justserve.org
c) If you want to read more about the effect of volunteering on psychological health, just run a search on "volunteering and depression"


My second big highlight came from our discussion of the second half of President Uchtdorf's talk, when he discusses some of the reasons why people might leave and questions they might raise before coming back.  He said:

Some might say, “I don’t think I could live up to your standards.”All the more reason to come! The Church is designed to nourish the imperfect, the struggling, and the exhausted. It is filled with people who desire with all their heart to keep the commandments, even if they haven’t mastered them yet.

A few women opened up about difficult times in their lives when they struggled with depression or other obstacles. The really interesting part, however, was when each of them shared that once they started talking with other people they found out that many other people are experiencing the same feelings.  For whatever weird reason, we tend to think we are the only ones who can't get it together.  This is NOT TRUE.

Lesson (re)learned:
a) If you are depressed and feel worse when you compare yourself to others, stop comparing yourself to other people. We spend too much time comparing our weaknesses to others' strengths.
b) If you have a hard time eliminating the mental comparisons, try talking to some of those people to whom you're comparing yourself. You'd be surprised how many of them feel or have felt the same way you do.
c) Remember that the race is not against each other - the race is against ourselves. As long as we are making progress, be it great or small, we're still moving forward! So if things seem bleak, ask God to help you move forward, AND (this has been key for me), ask Him to help you notice it when you do so.  This is what happened for me when I was on my bike a couple days ago, and I absolutely cannot express how wonderful it felt to realize and truly feel that I am doing better, than I am moving forward, and that there is most definitely light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope you can feel that way too, and if you're not feeling it now, don't give up!!!

I Still Consider This Saturday!

We had friends over for dinner and we chatted for a looooong time afterward. Now it's 1:30 am and I need to go to bed, but not before I post! :-)

Today's extraordinary event: my bike ride with Little Man. I wanted to make sure we got out of the house today, so I dragged him out to his bike trailer and headed off to the park. Except he heard a train whistle and told me he wanted to see trains, so I adjusted my route and went to the train station first. We parked the bike and headed up to the train platform, and just as we got up top a train pulled in.  (Awesome!) Little Man was super excited to watch the passengers get on and off and kept waving at the train. When it departed the station the conductor rang the bell a few extra times and waved goodbye.  We were smiling and so was he - so hopefully we added to his day.

From the train station we headed out toward the park, but at the first major intersection I spied some sort of event involving fire trucks. "Hey buddy, would you like to see some fire trucks?" As you can probably guess, the answer was "YES!" So we crossed the street and had the pleasure of discovering
a) the location of the Elks Lodge here in town, and
b) three different fire trucks from various eras (1890s wagon, 1910s truck, modern ladder truck that was  monumentally huge).
Once again, Little Man was super excited (and he really wanted to climb that ladder)!

After the firetrucks I struck out toward the park, and once we got there we had an enjoyable 20 minute play session. Then we hopped back on the bike and went home.  I'm so glad I listened to Little Man when he said he wanted to see trains, because if I hadn't gone that way we would have missed the fire trucks. It was a great ride with lovely unexpected surprises that made Little Man's day and definitely brightened mine.

Take That!

So I thought my extraordinary moment would be either going on a date with my husband tonight (we've gone on maybe four dates in the last two years, so I was very excited), or the kindness of the friend who watched our son so we could go out. (Swapping babysitting is AWESOME. Why did we not figure out how to make this work before???)  However, my most extraordinary moment was a personal victory.

I was riding my bike today and thinking I should really have done more exercise or something more vigorous, and then I thought to myself "Hey! I'm exercising - and that's freaking amazing, so shut it!"
And I stopped beating myself up.

I've been putting myself down for so long, this was truly an extraordinary event.  And if I did it once, I can do it again.  I hope you can, too!

New Habits

So I planned on posting something each evening, since I would need to experience my day in order to take note of the extraordinary things in my life.  The downside to this plan is that by the end of the day I'm tired and not thinking about posting.  Hence, yesterday's lack of writing. :-)

That said, yesterday was a good day, and at various points I thought "This. This will be my extraordinary thing to share." My final choice is something basic, but beautiful and happiness-inducing, so here it is: Mother Nature, specifically speaking, the weather. California desperately needs rain - and I hope and pray we get some - but in the meantime, I'm seriously enjoying the weather.  Yesterday afternoon around 3:00 pm I rode my bike a couple miles to meet with a friend (also an extraordinary part of my day), and it was a gloriously beautiful ride. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, it was around 70 degrees, and it felt really good to be alive.


Today's extraordinary event(s) were all the kindnesses my husband showed me. He read through a report I'd written to give me a fresh perspective, took care of our son so I could go to a pilates class, made a delicious dinner (seriously, you should give this recipe a try), cleaned up the kitchen, and gave me a hug whenever I asked for one. He's definitely a keeper and he repeatedly made me happy today.

What about you? What was extraordinary in your day?

Preface

I struggle with depression. A lot. While I'm definitely not at my lowest point, I'm not where I want to be, either. Focusing on the positive, amazing, extraordinary things that happen every day will, I hope (and actually, science supports this hope) help me improve my outlook in general and my overall emotional well being.

So...who am I? I am the daughter of two truly amazing parents.  I am a sister to six brothers and one sister, an aunt to fourteen fabulous nieces and nephews, a friend, a wife and a mother. My husband and I met online (Thank you Internet. Love, The Introverts) and have been married since 2008. Our son was born in 2011 and he is a joy. I work full time as a teacher and my husband is working his way through an MFA: Graphic Design program. 

I have had Type 1 diabetes since I was three and a half. My husband has ADHD. I fight against depression and my husband and I both have issues with anxiety from time to time. We exercise regularly, eat a plant based, largely organic diet, drink lots of water, and have unicorns bless our superfoods as often as possible. (Still reading? I'm impressed!) 

Somehow, I allowed myself to beat negative thought patterns into place without realizing what I was doing. Now it's time to let those paths grow weeds and fall into disuse as I do some positive thought trailblazing.  You're welcome to join me - let's find the extraordinary, everyday.